The Stephens' Stationary: "...for better or for worse..."

“…for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward...”

Eleven years ago I met a young woman, Emily Ring Goetcheus. She is intelligent, serious but often funny, and filled with life. Few (ourselves included) would have imagined that a little over five months later we would be engaged and a little over a year after that first meeting we would be married. And many doubted that our marriage would stand the test of time.

But today (April 12, 2013), Emily and I celebrate ten years of marriage. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:9 ESV) I can’t say the past ten years have been easy. I believe Emily would agree. But at least for these ten years our marriage has held against some very terrible storms.

“Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecc 4:11-12)

Emily and I don’t always agree. And there are many differences in attitudes and mannerisms. Marriage would not be interesting if husband and wife were exactly alike.

But when we are united in conviction, we are a force of nature. Dare I say, anyone in the way had better watch out.

Nothing demonstrates this truth better than the raising and care of our son, Gabriel.

Gabriel’s life might just represent the “perfect test” of our marriage. Born with Aicardi-Goutieres Syndrome, Gabriel’s brain had severely diminished “white matter.” This left him medically fragile, limited in his physical abilities, and significantly reduced in his cognitive functions. We never heard him speak, and he required physical supports his entire life.

But none of that mattered to us! We wanted to be parents, and who were we to question the abilities of the child we were given.

Emily and I did not tolerate anyone who questioned our care of Gabriel without cause. We fired more than one doctor. We cultivated the understanding of Gabriel’s condition within the company which provided his occupational, physical, and speech therapies. We challenged his pediatrician to “think outside the box.”

We insisted that his care network and the insurance allow us to step outside the “network” to seek advice from specialists around the state or nation.

We even challenged hospital rules whenever the rules served only to keep us from caring for Gabriel the way we thought was best when he was in the hospital.